Tonight was Halloween. Years ago, I used to start weeks ahead of time sewing cute kitty costumes and unicorns out of Garanimal sweat shirts and pants. As my girls and I got a little older, I would spend Halloween day stressed out, yelling at everyone while trying to hot glue a couple of costumes together. Today, I offered my oldest daughter my bathrobe, my other daughter went as a color, but didn’t have the right color jacket to go with her scheme, and in turn was mad at me. Four years ago we were blessed with a baby boy. Today that poor kid found some trash, and made his own costume out of that. I feel proud that he has the creativity and ambition that my older girls will never know. Don’t do for your kids what they can clearly do for themselves is the lesson here. Let your four year old make his own costume out of trash. First way to have a good Halloween.
Another way to have a good Halloween, is to send your teen daughter to a friend’s house early in the evening and put your focus on your other kids that you still feel you might have a chance with. Tell your friend how sorry you are, and then get the hell out of there – quick! Come back later to your friend’s house (when the teen kids are out terrorizing the neighborhood) and eat up her delicious food. Eat a lot of it, because it makes her feel good about her cooking and it helps you feel less stressed when the teens come back.
After gathering your teen and preteen daughters back from the adults you pushed them off on, and eating a bunch of your friend’s good cooking – go home. Drink your husband’s pumpkin ale, eat your kid’s candy, and hope that someone leaves you some very valuable, beautiful and entertaining gifts on your porch. That was the best part of my evening, and made for the best Halloween ever! An anonymous tricker left a super great album, a valuable, genuine German beer stein – brought over from the old country, and I can’t remember what else was out there – but I know it’s good stuff!
That’s how you have a good Halloween.
And after all that – gather up all your friends and promise to take them on the most fun and beautiful bike ride the next day. It will burn off the calories from the candy and beer, and gives you some unsupervised cars to anonymously slip some fun and interesting gifts into.