Recently we traveled over the river and through the woods to visit my parents. Every Christmas season we visit them on their little farm in Ohio. The kids traipse through the fields with my dad in search of the perfect tree. This year our youngest daughter felled the cedar. We decorate the tree with ornaments spanning the decades, treasures from my youth. Norman Rockwell. Currier and Ives. You get the picture.
Enter scene, my parent’s cat Simon. To be fair, they never wanted this cat. I try to play him off as a heartfelt gift, but no one buys it. I purchased this cat (for $100!) in a very weak moment and complete lapse of judgment. Simon looking to be the exact reincarnation of my beloved childhood pet Kitsey. Except Simon turned out to be the RoseMary’s baby of reincarnated cats. From the moment we brought this little kitten home he terrorized and wreaked havoc on everyone and everything. And we discovered he liked to eat strange things. It was like he had read “The Top Ten Most Dangerous Things For Cats To Eat” and kept a mental list of which things he still needed to swallow. The one that landed him in emergency surgery on a Sat evening, and landed us a $700 vet bill – was a needle and thread. My girls had been sewing when we discovered Simon huddled in the corner in what can only be described as the cat fetal/I am dying position. When we retrieved Simon from the vet after his surgery and opened the pet taxi – he immediately scratched open the stitches in his neck where the needle had been lodged, and then surgically removed. Splattering the walls and leaving a trail of blood – to find him once again in the cat fetal/I am dying position. Another trip to the vet (more $$$) and a cat cone later, he finally recovered. Shortly after his recovery – Simon went to live on a lovely farm in the country, my parent’s house. I don’t recall all the details surrounding this time, there may have been some trickery involved like “sure, we’ll come get him as soon as we are back from Florida” and then it get’s sketchy after that.
Now Simon is a much older and more settled cat. But as soon as you think he’s checked all items off his list – you turn around to find he’s eaten the bottom row of icicles off the Christmas tree.