It’s hard to believe but Susan just DIS-invited me to to a party she’s having for people who have dogs (Or was it jobs? Or who jog?). She tried to say it was because of global warming and as soon as Al Gore gave the ok, she was re-inviting me. But I’ve heard that before. In fact, I’ve said it before as an excuse as to why I had to cancel my Hee-Haw party, but frankly, I expected more of Susan.
I told her that my dinner plans were still at her house and that I’d be by sometime between 3 p.m. and midnight to pick up my food. She said that was fine, which made me think that the party wasn’t really cancelled, but that I was just no longer a guest. I’m not overly fond of dogs, anyway, because if I wanted to be sniffed, licked, and whined at, I’d run out and get me some more kids as I have just recently gotten my own to the stage where they slam things and stomp off instead of biting me like they used to. And I’m not too keen on jogging because I’ve spent the last nine months recovering from a summer of training for and running a 5K with nothing but my legs and feet (which I had to walk part of). I definitely can’t get any jobs after frittering away my prime working years staying home with a bunch of whiny people who licked and sniffed me all day.
So, in every case, I don’t think I am invited to Susan’s secret on-again, off-again party for gainfully-employed, physically-fit pet enthusiasts. I’m not mad, but just wait ’til Al Gore hears about this.